Sometimes, I think my beta readers really save me. I had completed this story and I got two different responses from two different beta readers. One of my readers didn't care for it much because of personal tasted and another one didn't like it because he thought the ending didn't work. I think this final version addresses both of their issues and becomes a much better story for it.
The story was originally going to be called Breaking the Billionaire, but about two weeks before it came out, somebody else published a feminization book with the exact same title, so I had to change things a bit and it became It's Nothing Personal: Breaking a Billionaire.
In this story, we meet Lyle Cummings. He's a software entrepreneur who has already made more money than most people could spend in a lifetime. When he runs into a mysterious woman named Andrea at a boring museum fundraiser sparks fly, but what he is unaware of is that she's former a former Canadian intelligent agent, whose whole role here is to abduct and eventually feminize him with the help of her partner, Kara.
Through a series of flashbacks, we learn just what type of a man Mr. Cummings is as he tries to escape his predicament and find out the identity of his rival who has hired Andrea for this task.
"I want you to know that this is nothing personal," she stated
almost apologetically. "You really
should have just accepted the limousine ride from me."
"What are you talking about?" he asked puzzled and still
wanting her body.
"I'm afraid that I've been contracted by certain parties who are
very displeased with you to enact vengeance for them. It's what I do," she
explained.
"What? Seriously, you’re going to kill me?"
"No, but in the end you may wish that I had. I'm going to make
certain changes to you and make arrangements for your future."
"Well, although you are quite obviously one of the most beautiful
women I've ever seen, you'll excuse me if I don't go gently," said Lyle
Cummings in a voice full of the confidence that comes from always getting your
way.
"Mr. Cummings, I would not
recommend trying to fight me. I can be very persuasive and I am not at all squeamish
about drawing blood or breaking bones," warned Andrea Bailey as she
approached her prey menacingly, herding him towards the handicapped stall at
the end of the line of cubicles.
"Stand back," he warned
attempting to shove her away. He was shocked when she quickly sidestepped him
and hit him with a perfectly targeted strike just over his left temple with her
open palm. The blow clouded his mind, instantly alerting him to the trouble he
was in. She was more than his match and
they both knew it. He tried to push her away while he cleared his head, but she
was already on him. With an unexpected twist of her hip she threw him and he
hit the wall behind the toilet with his forehead. He landed awkwardly on his stomach on top of
the toilet bowl. She climbed on his back, reaching for the roll of bathroom
tissue hanging on the wall and rudely stuffing it in his mouth from behind. She
kept his arms pinned to his sides by straddling him while she removed a black
thigh high from her left leg and used it to secure the gag in place.
With her other stocking, she efficiently
cinched his wrists together behind his back, then pulled his slacks down to his
ankles and his boxers down to his knees. Reaching into her purse, she pulled
out an applicator, which she used to insert a tampon deeply into his ass. He
moaned in discomfort and indignation. It felt like the foreign object was
burning a hole in his rectum.
"Relax, it's just a Bacardi 151 soaked tampon," she reassured
him.
"Mppph!" He began
thrashing around on the toilet, but between the stocking binding his wrists and
the weight of Andrea pinning his arms, he couldn't really do anything to resist,
but flop like a fish on dry land. All
his struggles really did was to increase the rate the alcohol in his ass was
absorbed into his bloodstream.
"Hey, it's not so bad. Think
how much money you're saving on the overpriced drinks out there," she teased
him giggling at the strange situation they found themselves in.
Andrea and Lyle both heard the door
to the bathroom open; they could hear a man enter as the soles of his feet
echoed off the cold linoleum. Lyle began struggling harder, grunting loudly for
help, but Andrea soon used her hand to silence him even further, while she
began to moan as if she were in sexual ecstasy. They could hear the man chuckling
as he used the urinal.
"Oh, fuck me! Fuck me!"
she screamed.
The man used the sink and dried his
hands with a towel; laughing lewdly as he left the bathroom.
"By now, you should be feeling
a very strong buzz; are you? Just a few more minutes I think and I can let you
up." She smacked his behind playfully and noticed his rather sluggish
reaction.
After having the tampon in his ass
for only fifteen minutes, he was now very drunk. Andrea picked up her cell
phone and made a quick call saying only, "He's ready for pickup."
She untied his wrists and removed
the gag, placing the discarded items into her purse so as not to leave any
clues behind. She pulled up his boxers and pants, leaving the tampon in place.
"You've got to let me go. I'm
important," he slurred at her.
"That's why you've got to go
with me," she cooed. "You won't be important for much longer. Maybe I'll even let you drive."
Amazing story Kylie
ReplyDeleteYou're writing ability keeps improving. The ending was a bit abrupt, but the entire lead up was very creative, detailed, and compelling!
Thanks, I don't know if you read the final version, but I think I made the ending much less jarring. I do think my writing is improving.
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