Monday, September 29, 2014

The Caesar Salad: How I got the Nickname Crouton

[This is a true story from my college days.  It is not for the squeamish.  Warning given in advance.]

In the Welcome to College series I detailed my exposure to eating cum.    It started with my own and slowly spread to include a few other guys' as well.  This was not something that I enjoyed at all, but it was something the girls took great delight in embarrassing me with.    I ate it in many forms from straight from the source to Fettuccine Algaydo and Beef Strokingoff.   However, the most embarrassing time ever involved a group project that we were doing for a class.

We were in the student union and we were working out a presentation in a small private room located in the union.  Amanda was also in the group and up until this particular day had done nothing to embarrass me in front of the other group members for change.  We were presenting at 2pm and we had been meeting since 10am when we broke for lunch about noon.  I got out of my seat about to go with some of the other students to the union grill to grab a cheeseburger or something, when Amanda called out to me.

"Hey silly, remember I packed our lunches."  She placed a plastic container in front of me and another one in front of herself.  She then flashed me the most wicked grin.

"Oh alright," I moaned having my heart set on a cheeseburger.  

As soon as I opened the Tupperware, I realized that there was a major problem with my salad.    There was cum all over it.  I don't know if she had got it from Nicole or Deanna's boyfriend or she had saved a condom from a date, but it looked like more than one load.  She smiled at me as if daring me to refuse to eat it. 

"Dig in," she smiled handing me a fork.  It was more of a command than a request.

"Thanks," I choked out as I gulped and stuck my fork into the salad.  I managed to get down a few bites, but it was foul and so humiliating to eat it in front of my group who was blissfully unaware of my revulsion.

"Crouton tax," giggled the cute red head sitting to my right.

She reached her right hand for one of the croutons, which I could clearly see was sitting in a pile of the disgusting salting goo covering my salad.

"No!" I barked harshly "Look, I only get so many croutons.  They're the best part of the salad. I'm sorry, but no."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean anything," she said sheepishly.

"Hey Crouton, you need to chill out," joked one of the guys in our group.

The nickname stuck for a week or two.  Amanda loved telling the story to her friends.  My reaction seemed to grow bigger with each retelling.

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